Should You Change To Fit In?

Affiakeys - Frizzy Crown

It is common now in 2017 to feel swept away by the wave of social media influencers, who portray pretty faces, expensive clothing and a fast jet set life. The funny thing about the pressures of social media is that these influences have always been here. It is just now the magnifying glass appears to have intensified as the flow of technology has taken over our brain waves.

Growing up I never felt compelled to follow any trends or fashion I liked what I liked. I do not know if it is due to me being the eldest sibling which meant I had nobody to look up to, or the fact I am stubborn as a mule but nobody can tell me what I should like, say or do. Girls are funny because the pack mentality is rife, just like lioness who hunt, eat and sleep together, having a group of friends is pretty similar. Although it is less about survival and more about blending in. It is easy being in a group but groups loose your individual identity. Therefore it is great for the people who find it difficult to stand on their own, those that need an army behind them in order to fight a battle. This is and never has been me, I have always seen myself as an individual and hated being in situations with friends were I felt obligated to do something.

Deep down I always knew that in order to be successful in life you need to grow up and become a better adult learning from the rights and wrongs as a child  and consciously doing the best to change and gain a better understanding of yourself. What your purpose is in life? I never knew how to answer this question growing up “What is my aspiration in life?” But I was desperate to find the answer. I knew this burning desire was the godly energy speaking to my soul telling me not to change and to keep searching for the answer.

Life throws you natural curve balls, you set yourself challenges and goals, with a list of things to work towards, scared of the dreams that may never come true.
Each morning as the sun rises our soul stirs. What am i going to do today? What might happen? You don’t know today could be the last day of your life or the beginning.
Getting to know yourself is the best trend you need below are my 5 tips on how to do just that

1. Enjoy your own company
Spend time with yourself in peace without any form of technology (phone, tablet, computer, tv)  This could be by going to the gym, for a walk, to the shops, a museum, library the cinema. There are so many activities we reserve exclusively for friends but as you get older we should spend more time thinking and observing, rather than chit chatting in each moment which can cause distractions.

2. Do Not Be Mean To Yourself
Once in a while we have to treat ourselves, spend some good money on yourself and buy something of really good quality. It could be a new computer, camera, handbag whatever but we deserve to spoil ourselves every now and then.

3. Spend time with people that share your goals and interest
Do you have friends that share the same interest with you? Or do you come together based on a common interest? A common interest is like a birthday party or the fact you chose to spend time with this person because they have been your friend for some time. If you do not have friends that share the same interest with you find some. It could be the reason you want to change, and changing for friends is only delaying the inevitable.

4. Do Not Look For The Answers in somebody else life
It is easy to want things that others have, its the green eyed jealous monster that lives within us all. But instead of wanting what someone else has, get to know them and learn why they possibly have what they do. There is always a means to an end nothing is impossible. Take the things from others life you like and learn how to incorporate it with your needs and wants.

5. Reach for a journal instead of your phone
Lastly I am big on literally writing everything down. From my feelings, my shopping or to-do list. I find it therapeutic because visually being able to see something brings to life what is in your mind. Also your mind may feel as if you have it together but by writing things down you are able to get deeper than the surface and put things into a logical order.


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